Not on Fire

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." 

Revelation 3:15, 16

Harsh. These words seems so harsh. I have heard sermons, read devotionals that warn against being a "Lukewarm Christian." To the point, it has added this deep rooted fear and aversion to the thought of being a Lukewarm Christian. That there is no way I should ever feel this way. There's this underlying idea in my mind that I need to be always hot, always on fire for God.

I can think back on times that I have been on fire for Him. Moments in High School-talking to friends and discover ideas and characteristics of God. Summer Camp-surround by others and kids who want to be consumed by God. In my Daily Devotions-when I could hardly wait to wake in the early hours of the morning and spend time with my intimate Savior. But what about the times in between?

Those are the time that I struggle with, that I have guilt about, that I don't want others to know about. The times I don't feel the fire, the time I just go through the motions, the times I think I might me be... 

Dare I say it-Lukewarm.

In fact, I'm going through one of those times right now. A period, when this time last year I was so excited about waking to see what God had in store for me next, waiting and breathing in anticipation for me to see Him in my everyday. On Fire. 

I haven't felt that for a while now. Months in fact and that scares me. It's as if what I feel is-apathy. But how can this be? How can I have this towards my God? The One who loved me so much that He created this world and mankind to lavish with love. The One who came to this earth, lived among us, died and rose again so I can have a life. The One who lives and breathes in me-in each of us to love and comforts us. It scares me. 

My head does not doubt Him, who He is, or what He's done for me. But, I ask my self "am I being fake?" Going through the motions, reading the Bible even when I don't seem to get anything out of it? Praying and telling others "I'll pray for you" when my prayers don't even seem to go past the ceiling? Is there something I'm doing wrong, that not only do I not feel the fire, I don't even feel a flicker?

No. It's not fake. Through His word, other God-fearing people in my life, and in His still small voice. God has assured me I'm not being fake. It's about living the Christian life even when I don't feel it, or feel like it. It about walking with Him when I may not feel like I want to. It's about the drought, the dry season, feeling like my relationship with Him is lukewarm or even cold.

Feeling on fire is an incredible emotion that's a part of my Christian walk.  But, I also believe so are the moments in between-so is the apathy. In those moments when I feel apathy, will I continue to be found faithful, obedient to what He's asking of me, regardless of if I feel like it or not?  

He knew our love would waver-and still He love us. 

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.Revelation 3:15, 19, 20

When we do fall away and we don't feel that fire, He continues to pursue us with His love. To pursue you, pursue me with an intimate, lavishing, unconditional, embracing, disciplining, sacrificial, faithful, everlasting kind of love. 

So how ever we may feel-HOT, COLD, or LUKEWARM-remember we have a choice. Will we choose to be faithful, obedient, to seek after Him through our emotion-or not?

But whatever our choice is-remember He chooses Love. 

To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

Revelation 3:14-21

-kartini r. maxson