Gentle Shepherd

All I wanted was to relax in a hot bath, climb into bed and read my book.  But, no, instead I had to deal with a rebellious two-year-old who refused to go to bed.   She had resisted going to sleep and pretty much every other idea I had for her since she was born.  I was bone weary, having accomplished nothing during the day, other than caring for her and her infant brother.   So, as once more this little daughter of mine put up a fuss, something in me snapped.  A basket of stuffed animals sat nearby from which I snatched them up, and one by one, hurled them around the room, yelling with each throw.  I can still see her confused look, crying and pleading, “Mommy, stop...”  

Thankfully, my patient and long suffering husband heard the commotion and rescued us both.

Later, in my room, I poured out my heart to God.  I prided myself in being a capable, self-sufficient, hardworking individual.  Any challenge with enough work and persistence, I could handle.  How could this charming, cute as a bug, 25-pound human being, be my undoing?  “God, I can’t do this, I cried.”  And what I discovered next will forever be remembered as a profound turning point in my mothering and, more importantly, my walk with Jesus.  Because in the quietness of my spirit, I sensed God whispering, “Ah, daughter, you are right, you can’t do it.  The truth is you can’t do anything…without Me and My strength.”   That day, it became clear; my efforts are ineffective and futile.   I am utterly dependent on Jesus for every step of life, especially being a Mom.

My own Mother is a spiritually rich lady who daily demonstrates humility and wisdom.  When I first became a mother, she “gave” me a Bible text.   It became the verse that she specifically prays over me and my children.   

“He tends His flock like a Shepherd.  He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those who have young.”-Isaiah 40:11 

The sweet truth is:  our Savior has a tender heart toward us mothers (and Aunties).  He carries our children in His all-powerful arms and clasps them close to His heart.  Then, He takes our hand, and affectionately leads us, guiding us in the daily joys and challenges of raising our kids.  I love the picture of Jesus, blessing those Israelite children.  And, I see Him doing the same thing with our kids today: taking the little ones on his lap, snuggling, kissing their heads.  I imagine Him playing with the toddlers, swirling them around, placing His strong hands on a boy’s head, hugging a young girl.   Cupping the teenage girl’s face and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.   Clapping the young man on the back, giving him a “high five.”  Yes, He does this with my kids and then He grasps my hand, catches my eye and says, “Well done.”

That day with my toddler was 15 years ago.  I can’t say that everything improved overnight, but remembering my source of strength became my Lifeline.  And now, with three teenagers (O Jesus help!) I must rely on His strength more than ever.   It seems that with bigger kids, come bigger problems: boy/girlfriends, break ups, friendship challenges, grades, time management (or lack thereof), unpredictable hormones, teen drivers, higher insurance, higher costs for education…  But, my biggest area of prayer is the spiritual connection my children are developing. 

Recently, I sat on my youngest daughter’s bed and listened to her gut wrenching sobs. She rarely cries and often has difficulty dealing with her emotions.  Out came expressions of hurt, loneliness, feelings of being different and misunderstood.  There can be no worse pain for a mother then seeing your child hurt.  Nothing I said seemed to help.  Finally, I started reading some of my favorite passages of scripture.  The ones that have brought comfort to my soul through the years.  Slowly, her emotions calmed and she asked me to keep reading.  The next day she requested that I write down these verses so she could look them up.  Now, I consistently see her reading her Bible on her own.   We cannot always fix the pain and uncertainty in our kid’s lives, but we can show them where our strength and consolation comes from. We can point them to the Shepherd.

Jesus knows that we get tired and stressed.   Sometimes our kids hurt us, they don’t meet our expectations.  There are times we feel unappreciated and taken for granted.   He understands our need for adult conversation, affirmation and hope.  And He gives it in another verse in Isaiah 40.

Do you not know?    Have you not heard?The Lord is the everlasting God,    the Creator of the ends of the earth.He will not grow tired or weary,    and his understanding no one can fathom.He gives strength to the weary    and increases the power of the weak.Even youths grow tired and weary,    and young men stumble and fall;but those who hope in the Lord    will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles;    they will run and not grow weary,    they will walk and not be faint.-Isaiah 40: 28-31

God alone understands every worry and desire. It is He who renews our strength.  He gives us the power to keep going, to keep loving, to keep encouraging, to keep running and to soar! 

-Wendy Eickmann