As this year comes to an end and I look back upon it, what did it hold? Am I the same person I was 12 months ago? Are my relationship with others the same? What about my relationship with God?
Starting January, the word God impressed me to pray over was "Present." I have a tendency to often worry about what the future hold or think back on the "remember when..." So, I started the year praying how I could be "happy" about being in the present-in the moment.
And let me tell you. There has been growth in this area; and like physically growing, there have definitely been some growing pains in the process.
Thinking that it was about being "happy" in every situation seemed to bring more anxiety and stress. But through this year God has journeyed with me to help me realize, it's not about being "happy" in every moment.
This has been a year filled with lots of opportunities to live in the present. A son who graduated from 8th grade and now in High School, changes in family members' health, changes in job roles for both my husband and I. Some events easy to be happy in, others not so much. In these moments my natural reflex of, "what if this or that happens next," wanted to kick in.
You know that saying "Don't cross that bridge until you come to it"? In these times, I've crossed and had to come back over many bridges that I didn't need to go over in the first place.
This year as God walked beside me, He opened my eyes to realize it's not about being "happy" in every moment-it's about allowing Him to be part of every moment.
Realizing, I'm not navigating having a teenager as gracefully as I want, is hard. In one of those moments, in church no less, with emotions of frustration at my teenager and tears streaming down my cheeks. God allowed me to be real with some church members who lifted me up and reassured me I am not alone in this.
Struggling with family who have health issues, I tried to push down my grief and emotion, and instead build a wall, to just be the professional nurse. But God used many people, who chose to be present and see through that wall. Praying people who shared in opportunities for real emotion and healing to take place.
Struggling with new changes in a job role. Yes, God is still asking me to plan and work hard. But, not worry about the future or unrealistic expectations that have not been placed on me.
Living in the present doesn't me I need to stop dreaming, stop planning, or stop thinking about the future. Living in the present means learning to continuously live in His presence. When I do this, I will not miss out on what God is wanting me to know, to experience-in the now. I will be blessed and enjoying life to it's fullest; happiness, anticipation, sadness, all of it-with Him and through Him.
Just this past week I was walking through the woods with my mother-in-love, who is currently battling with breast cancer. We were talking about the family pictures we were going to be taking. Earlier someone had asked her why we were going to do the pictures this visit. As we walked down that path, arm in arm, her answer,"Because we're all together now. And who knows what the future will hold."
I thank God, that He too, walks with me arm in arm on this journey;
and I can rest assure, that He is the one who holds my future in His hands.
Starting January, the word God impressed me to pray over was "Present." I have a tendency to often worry about what the future hold or think back on the "remember when..." So, I started the year praying how I could be "happy" about being in the present-in the moment.
And let me tell you. There has been growth in this area; and like physically growing, there have definitely been some growing pains in the process.
Thinking that it was about being "happy" in every situation seemed to bring more anxiety and stress. But through this year God has journeyed with me to help me realize, it's not about being "happy" in every moment.
This has been a year filled with lots of opportunities to live in the present. A son who graduated from 8th grade and now in High School, changes in family members' health, changes in job roles for both my husband and I. Some events easy to be happy in, others not so much. In these moments my natural reflex of, "what if this or that happens next," wanted to kick in.
You know that saying "Don't cross that bridge until you come to it"? In these times, I've crossed and had to come back over many bridges that I didn't need to go over in the first place.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:6-7
This year as God walked beside me, He opened my eyes to realize it's not about being "happy" in every moment-it's about allowing Him to be part of every moment.
Realizing, I'm not navigating having a teenager as gracefully as I want, is hard. In one of those moments, in church no less, with emotions of frustration at my teenager and tears streaming down my cheeks. God allowed me to be real with some church members who lifted me up and reassured me I am not alone in this.
Struggling with family who have health issues, I tried to push down my grief and emotion, and instead build a wall, to just be the professional nurse. But God used many people, who chose to be present and see through that wall. Praying people who shared in opportunities for real emotion and healing to take place.
Struggling with new changes in a job role. Yes, God is still asking me to plan and work hard. But, not worry about the future or unrealistic expectations that have not been placed on me.
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| Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash |
Just this past week I was walking through the woods with my mother-in-love, who is currently battling with breast cancer. We were talking about the family pictures we were going to be taking. Earlier someone had asked her why we were going to do the pictures this visit. As we walked down that path, arm in arm, her answer,"Because we're all together now. And who knows what the future will hold."
I thank God, that He too, walks with me arm in arm on this journey;
and I can rest assure, that He is the one who holds my future in His hands.
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.Ecclesiastes 3:1
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