At the beginning of 2017, we prayed about the word that would define the
year. My word for the year was Openness. I had this preconceived notion of what that
would mean. Yet, this year has taught me
to be open and not to rely on those preconceived notions.
This year has been one
of the best and worst years I have had.
I have thought that I have been open, but as I reflect, I really have
not been. The reflection is causing me
to reevaluate this year.
I have been open to how
I think things should be. The beginning
of the year, I was so close to God. He
had guided me in a direction, or at least that is what I thought. He and I were
so close that someone told me that I was glowing from the inside out.
As I type these words,
it is hard to remember that feeling. The
first part of the year was great. Yes,
there were struggles, and challenges.
However, I “knew” what God was going to do. I had the time table all
done in my head.
It is the end of the
year, and I see what I thought God was guiding me to slipping further and
further away. Was I mistaken? Did I get
it wrong? Did God lie to me? What did I
do wrong?
With these questions
running in my head, it is sobering. This
is not where I want my thoughts to go. I
have to be honest, I am angry and mad at God and at myself that there are
things in my life that are not going the direction I thought God was guiding.
It is hard to admit
that. However, I am being open with myself as well as God. There are times in
our lives that it is not rainbows and sunshine.
Sometimes, there are dark days, and God is there for then too.
God is big enough to
take whatever I throw at Him. He is
patient and will continue to guide. Maybe, that is what I am to learn. Openness
to questions, and things not going according to plan. Openness to allowing
myself to be honest with myself.
It has taken me most of the year to come to that
realization. This journey is always
ongoing. Openness can be open to change,
open with others, open with myself. There are so many meanings to that word.
This year has taught me that I need to be open and
honest with the people in my life, as well as myself. It is okay to be mad and angry with God. It
is okay to sometimes not put on the happy face and pretend that everything is
okay.
I hope that you take time this month and reflect on this
past year. God is working on all of us,
and we need to be open to that work in our lives. Sometimes it is not easy, and there are
growing pains. Yet, it is life changing.
My prayer for all of you is that you do not lose sight
of God. He is always there and ready to
listen to you, even if you are mad at Him.
Just don’t stop talking to Him.
Dear Lord, I pray
that those who are reading this reflect on this year. I thank you for allowing each of us to have
this journey with You. Yes, sometimes we
don’t know what You are doing, but You do.
Also, there are things that happen in life that have no explanation at
the moment. Yet, I want to be open and keep my eyes on You.
In Jesus’ Name Amen
Laura Maxson
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