The one thing I have discovered is that with abuse, there
are a lot of people that are affected by the actions of one person. There is the abused, the family and friends
of that person, and the abuser. One action
causes a ripple effect through families.
Sometimes we don’t know what to say.
What do you do if you know someone who is still in the
healing process after being abused? You need to be there for them. Maybe you
can’t help them, but you can listen. You can be their safety net. If they do
not want anyone else knowing, then you are their safe place, and you need to
respect that.
Maybe the knowledge that your family member or friend has
been a victim in the past is too much for you, and you don’t feel comfortable
hearing the details. Share that with them,
be honest with them. You see, being honest with them will help alleviate any
awkward encounters.
In the instances that you don’t feel comfortable hearing the
details, prayer is what you can do to help them. Pray that God will give your family member
or friend the resources to become healthy and whole. Pray that God will bring into their lives
someone who is equipped to help them out, a counselor, or trusted person that
will listen.
Also, let you them know, that maybe you can’t listen to the
details, but that you are praying for them.
Just the knowledge that you haven’t abandoned them completely, is a
comfort. Don’t be afraid to communicate
that with your family member or friend that is in the healing process.
“For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict.”Luke 21:15
There is something constant that I learned from God. I learned that God is with me always. I did
not have to be alone in my struggle. He is with me always. He is with you too.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”Isaiah 41:10
Maybe you can’t face that realization that your family
member or friend was abused. You blame yourself for not being able to protect
them. God is working on you. I can only
imagine what you are going through watching your loved one struggle. I pray
that God will give you the peace as well.
Maybe you can’t face the realization that your family
member or friend did the abusing. You might blame yourself for not seeing it,
and doing something about it. God is
working on you too. I pray that God will
give you the peace from the questions. You might need to forgive them for yourself
too.
If you do know someone that has abused someone, in whatever
form, and that person has asked forgiveness and is changing, that is a good
thing.
How do I say that? I
say that because God died for us all.
"For all men (and women) have sinned and have missed the shining-greatness of God."Roman 3:23
You need to know one thing above all else. God is with us always. It is true for all of us, whether you have
been abused, are the abuser, know someone who is either the abused or abuser. He is with us all.
So, with God’s help, and strength, I am shining the light on
God. I am not glorifying the abuse, or
the abuser. God helped me through, and
He wants to help us all through our difficulties. This is for God’s glory.
God doesn’t destine abuse of any kind. Abuse isn’t something He orchestrates for the
bigger picture, or to teach a lesson.
However, God can bring out miracles in spite of the abuse. He can make something beautiful in spite of
sin for all of us.
He makes all things new.
He can also make the abuser a new person as well. Maybe that is something you don’t want to
hear, but it is true. God loves us all. It may take a long while, but God keeps trying
on all of us. He doesn’t give up on any
of us, even in the last moments.
“…and behold, I am with you always, to the end of the world”Matthew 28:20
God has stated that we are all sinners who need grace. Jesus died for all of us. He died for all of our sins, not just the
sins that are “society approved.” You
know, gossiping or taking the Lord’s name in vain. Jesus died for the murders,
the abusers, for all of us.
I have seen my abuser. In fact it was within the last six
months. I hadn’t seen him in over
fourteen years. I will admit that I was very apprehensive with the thought of seeing
him. However, my prayer was that God would take the apprehensiveness. You know what? God filled me with a peace
that I did not have before.
It was at a funeral of my grandfather, and the abuser is
family. God allowed me to see this person with new eyes. I saw a man who needs
God just as much as I do. As I listened to him talk to the group, I heard a man
who, at the age of over 70, finally got it.
He finally realized that he needed God, and that he had messed up a lot
in his life.
He didn’t apologize to me, but that is okay. I have faith, that in his own way he was
apologizing with the words he was saying to our group. Whether or not he was, I have forgiven him.
There is a peace that I have now. God gave that to me.
I don’t have all the answers. Maybe, some of the questions we have, we
won’t have answers for until Jesus comes back again to take us home. I am pretty sure there are a lot of questions
that we won’t have the answer until heaven, and that will have to be okay. I trust and have faith in God that He is
always with me.
Dear Lord
Soli Deo
Gloria, (Glory to God alone) – You are with us always, and walk beside us
always. Yes, we have all sinned and
fallen short, but You died for us. You
are always with us. We don’t want to
miss the shining greatness of You. Lord,
show us your glory. You can bring light
to all of us. You have done that for
me. I am a new person because of
you. Thank you for that. May this blog shine a light on You.
Amen
Laura Maxson