Sometimes it's hard for me to share with others the things that I think I'm good at. It's that fine line between humility and pride. But, one thing I humbly pride myself in is-my listening skills.
I want to listen to others. I not only want to, but enjoy and appreciate the ability to spend one-on-one time learning and listening to what other people have to say. I love listening to their funny stories, how someone's day was, random facts, struggles they may be going through. Just listening.
But, there's one thing I have a hard time listening to.
It's Silence.
I struuuuuugle with silence. To the point that I have, what my husband has termed, "verbal vomit." When I'm faced with silence in a conversation; I, the one who prefers to do the listening, would rather fill the silence with uncomfortable, awkward talking. During these times, as I'm awkwardly attempting to poorly navigate this one person conversation, I tell myself "Stop talking! Stop Talking!" And yet, the words continue to pour out of my mouth, because I can't handle the silence. It's terrible.
But, when I really think about it, I don't always struggle with silence in conversation. If I'm honest with myself, there are people I'm OK being silent with. The one's I'm completely comfortable with. The one's who know me. The one's who I feel will not judge me.
I want to listen to others. I not only want to, but enjoy and appreciate the ability to spend one-on-one time learning and listening to what other people have to say. I love listening to their funny stories, how someone's day was, random facts, struggles they may be going through. Just listening.
But, there's one thing I have a hard time listening to.
It's Silence.
I struuuuuugle with silence. To the point that I have, what my husband has termed, "verbal vomit." When I'm faced with silence in a conversation; I, the one who prefers to do the listening, would rather fill the silence with uncomfortable, awkward talking. During these times, as I'm awkwardly attempting to poorly navigate this one person conversation, I tell myself "Stop talking! Stop Talking!" And yet, the words continue to pour out of my mouth, because I can't handle the silence. It's terrible.
But, when I really think about it, I don't always struggle with silence in conversation. If I'm honest with myself, there are people I'm OK being silent with. The one's I'm completely comfortable with. The one's who know me. The one's who I feel will not judge me.
The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”
Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”
1 Samuel 3:10
1 Samuel 3:10
There are time in my journey with the Lord and He goes silent, I struggle with that. Times when I'm either waiting to hear Him speak, or have heard him clearly before. I'm listening and waiting. But, for whatever reason He has chosen to be silent. It's really hard place for me to be.
Many times, even with the Lord, the One who I'm comfortable with, who knows me, who does not judge me, but ultimately loves me; I end up filling His silence with my talking. I try to say what I think He might want to say, I reason with Him, I even make plans to move when He hasn't asked me to.
It's hard for me to listen to His silence. But, I believe that if I would just "Be still, and know that HE is God," that in the silence I will learn what He want to say to me.
A few weeks ago we were at camp meeting and I was listen to Pastor Debleaire Snell. He was preaching about the times in our lives that we feel in the dark. The hard times, the night. One of the things he said resonated deep with me. He said, "God won't leave you in the dark. God will lead you in the dark."
Remembering those word, I feel that is also true with His silence. Though silence may be the "complete absence of sound;" with God, it can be the complete Presence of God. He is there in the silence when we stop and allow Him to be God in our lives-what ever it may look or sound like.
Many times, even with the Lord, the One who I'm comfortable with, who knows me, who does not judge me, but ultimately loves me; I end up filling His silence with my talking. I try to say what I think He might want to say, I reason with Him, I even make plans to move when He hasn't asked me to.
It's hard for me to listen to His silence. But, I believe that if I would just "Be still, and know that HE is God," that in the silence I will learn what He want to say to me.
A few weeks ago we were at camp meeting and I was listen to Pastor Debleaire Snell. He was preaching about the times in our lives that we feel in the dark. The hard times, the night. One of the things he said resonated deep with me. He said, "God won't leave you in the dark. God will lead you in the dark."
Remembering those word, I feel that is also true with His silence. Though silence may be the "complete absence of sound;" with God, it can be the complete Presence of God. He is there in the silence when we stop and allow Him to be God in our lives-what ever it may look or sound like.
"Be still, and know that I AM God."
Psalms 46:10
When we do that, I believe we will hear-and know Him.
Even in the silence.
Even in the silence.
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| Photo by Ezra Jeffrey on Unsplash |
~kartini r. maxson
