January Prayer Topic: Year with God, Word with God

Curled up in my chair, I sat, January 1, 2017. I sat-writing words. 

My plan was to start the year positive and uplifting, to think about our word, to plan my year with God. But my mind was elsewhere. Just that morning I had planned on waking up early to spend time in worship. But, I didn't get up as early as I had hoped. By the time I wandered down stairs and set up my Bible and journal on the end of the couch, I wasn't the only one up. After getting a glass a water I turned around and there, sitting in my spot, was some else. Needless to say, I was a bit annoyed. Being the morning person that I am not, under my breath I made a comment about how they were in my spot. My spot, that I had obviously set up to spend quiet, quality time with God. Could they not tell? 

The response that came back, "Why don't you have your worship upstairs?" 

Though the response was asked in a very innocent manner, it got me fired up.

So, without a word, I took my things and headed back upstairs. Though no words were coming out of my mouth, my thoughts were non-stop. "How could they be so inconsiderate, couldn't they see that I had set my things there, didn't they know that I had planned on spending quality time with the Lord, now I have to go to my room where it was a mess, the bed was not made, my clothes sat on my dresser not put away. Did they not realized, that even though we had set up a special corner with a chair and my desk for me, I didn't want to be there this morning, I wanted to be downstairs on the couch!"

After setting my things in that chair, annoyed I looked at the unmade bed and folded clothes staring back at me. How can my mindset be positive and uplifting when I'm in the middle of this! So, I started to clean. As I made the bed I told the Lord, "This wasn't how it was suppose to start. I don't want to be annoyed or upset. So I'm going to do what 'they say,'-thank You for the things that are bothering me."

As I put away my clothes that had been sitting patiently all week, in their proper place, I rattled off under my breath how I was thankful that I had clean clothes, a bed to sleep in, for the person who had relegated me back upstairs. 

Finally, I was done. Now, I could have that positive, uplifting quiet time with God. Curled up in my chair, I sat, January 1, 2017. I sat-writing words. I started writing with a smile on my face, those same things I had just muttered under my breath as if that tantrum had never happen. 

6 lines-that's it. That's all my fake attitude could handle. Shaking my head, my hand started writing real words. How I really felt.

"Lord,

Please control my irritability, short temper, entitled, wavering feelings. I want to walk and talk with You all the time, be controlled by You, have You set my expectations, focus on You, be open to You, be patient, self-controlled, gentle, loving, kind, joyful, peace, good, faithful all in You and through You.

I'm not quiet sure where my heart is......"

What followed was a conversation with my God, in a quiet place, an undisturbed perfect place, to be real with God.  A place where true heart transformation could start. 

I tell Him my current struggles, my heart's desires, things I think should be my heart's desires, and He whispers back. 

Trust in the Lord, and do good;    dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.Delight yourself in the Lord,    and He will give you the desires of your heart.Commit your way to the Lord;    trust in Him, and He will act.He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,    and your justice as the noonday.Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him
 Psalm 37:3-7

The One who already knows my heart and mind, had planned for us to have our time, in a place my heart could be real. 

Now-we could start planning.

"Forgive me Lord. i'm sorry, i was bitter."

I know.
I AM Patient, Kind, Long-Suffering, Full of Knowledge.
Lean on Me.
Learn from Me.
Trust in Me.

"OK Lord. Then we start. Start Today."

~kartini r. maxson